A peek outside comfort zone

I think when we're too comfortable in our comfort zone, even a peek outside can result in extreme anxiety and nervousness. And that's how I felt 2day when I speak at the much-anticipated event management seminar. My heart was pumping so loudly, for a moment I thought everyone heard it. I reached sharp 5.45pm as agreed. I didn't even had the chance to breathe & I was already introduced to the stage.

Boy, tht second when I was walking up there, it reminds me soooooo much abt public speaking with Ms Stella. The crowd turned out to be only 50 instead of the registered 100ppl. I was so nervous because I saw this professor sitting right in front of me but I was even more nervous when Chris (the other speaker & so happen was also my lecturer) announced: "So here is Irene & she's gonna talk for 40mins."... What the?!!!!! %$#* I only prepared 10mins of speech. Anw, I went on w my speech thinking I'm either gonna be the nervous kid w the red puffy jacket or the confident speaker.

The remaining 30mins after my speech was a Q & A, which again I wasn't told & prepared..!! Thanks for the miscommunication between Chris & the organiser... Imagine a job interview with 50ppl as yr interviewer... Yea! How fun. ;P

I ended my speech w "To me, event management is like love at first sight." I heard the crowd going.. "Awwwwww.." & a pleased smile at my SLP supervisor & I knew tht was the right thing to say. I was even more stun when some of the participants wanted to ask my "opinion" and my contact details for "future reference". I'm like.... "Errrr... Are you sure?"...

Back to my comfort zone: Leaving to ski trip in 3hrs time!!! Woohoooooo~~~~ yeah!! :D :D

A brotherly love

I had always joke abt my dad & sometimes put on a tantrum on how ridiculously biased & unfair he was among my brothers & I. But, I had never thought I had shoved the hurt, jealousy and anger so deep under the carpet that 7 years later, it hurts to dig it out. I mean it never really bothers me but it was during one of the seminars in Hillsong when I caught myself struggling with my tears while listening to this speaker talking abt letting go of yr past – be it physical, mental, emotional or sexual abuse.

There were so many times when aunt Evelyn had talked to me abt forgiveness and I would always think: “Yeah right, it’s really easier said than done.” But last Sun, while I was watching Love Actually for the second time, she succeeded. Or at least, breaking through the first barrier of my stubbornness. She prayed for me & it was only then I realised jst how much it still hurts sometimes. While I secretly wiped my tears hoping no one saw, my brother jumped right beside me at the couch, gave me a biggggg hug & kissed my forehead & jumped back straight to his board game... *awwwwwwww* How sweet! For that split second, I experienced what you called a brotherly love. Seriously, he had never done it before.

Yum cha

Yum cha in Melbourne is definitely one of the greatest pleasures in life. The dim sum here is slightly different to those I had in Connaught.. Today, we went alllll the way to Doncaster jst to eat in Taipan. It took us almost 45mins by bus but it was definitely worth it. The best yum cha I ever had in Melb. Somehow it provides me a glimpse to Hong Kong.. teehee~~

Had dinner at Sofia's pizza yday. The last time I ate there was 8months ago & I can still remembr the taste of the scallops in my mouth but yday's dinner was quite disappointing. It wasn't as delicious as I expected.. went & watch Monster in-law.. Highly recommended~~ it was so funny & jakun me, laugh like a monster while stretching my leg at the front seat.. hehee.. the cinema in Jam Factory was exceptionally huge n even took some pics there!!

In the morn, we all woke up JUST to help val moved her hse.. as usual, Franco, Krystal & I happily squat at the back of the movers.. We took pics as usual in the dark but this time the journey wasn't as pleasant. Forgot tht val's hse is further, felt so stuffy n dizzy at the back of the truck. Even scarier, the can of flammable kerosol or something similar to tht was roling back n forth tht for a moment, we thought we were all gonna die inside the truck coz right before the uncle shut the door, val quickly told us tht the few cans will blow up if it was shaken too hard. THANKS.

I embarassed myself yday when I called Keryn past midnight n shouted "Happy Birthday" so loudly only to realise that she had switched on her speaker phone n the whole car heard me shouting. Even funnier, her bday is on mon n today's jst the early celebration. Looking forward to tonight's pyjamas party~~!

Oh Oh.. special thanks to Sophia dearie for the wonderful chat~~! I had a great time, makes me feel like we're catching up with lost times.. can't believe tt we can still relate to each other like tht after sooo long.. it definitely feels good!

Looking forward to the weekend..

For the simple reason that today is Thursday and that it's the last day of classes for the week, I feel so hyperactive. I was so hyper today tt while walking at the streets in Chinatown, Franco again swear for the 100th time that he wouldn't recognise me as a friend if I keep on behaving like this when I visit him in Hong Kong...

I love it when Jen comes to my house because then it's a good reason for me to vacumm my carpet... Finally saw her bf, Kelvin after 4 long weeks. He was telling us abt his trip back to KL, the first in a few years, and showing me pics of orang aslis and mountains. I reckon there's something really wrong with the editors of any Malaysia tourism books because for God's sake, Malaysia is not only about half-naked orang aslis and orang utans but civilised people like us that don't think Australians ride kangaroos to work..!!

I woke up to pee in the wee hours of the morning & saw my phone beeping. It was a msg from Zijill..! :) What a coincidence because I was jst dreaming abt her Tuesday night.. dreamt that we went on a road trip together in my mum's car to Malacca..! Weird huh~~

I played my first board game in years - Acquire. It's a game that my bro's friends are so addicted to, buying & selling properties... Now I understand why they're so addicted to it because I sometimes caught myself planning strategies to win the game in the middle of a boring lecture.

I begin to enjoy Media Ethics because it really taught me to see things from a diff perspective. It challenges the idea of religion and truth~~ oooo... it's so mentally stimulating. Something's really wrong w my brain nowadays coz I realise that I'm beginning to crave for knowledge abt stuff that happens in World War II or stuff about press theories or even the one-child policy in China. Really, like Miss Stella once said to me: "The more you know, the more you don't know."

Psstt.. I saw someone surfing gay porn in the uni's comp lab~~~ ewwwww ~~~

Friends are always the ones that make me smile~~

Yup, that's right..!! Nothing is better than the companion of friends & to know that you are always loved by them. Had Jen over for dinner yday & we were talking abt our new book "Every young woman's battle".. hehee.. I haven't started reading tht yet.. then, was looking forward to my phone date w Sophia only to realise tht it was almost midnight & bedtime for me so had to postpone tht.. Finally talked to Elina yday, laughed like nobody's business in the middle of the night & came up w a time to continue our yum cha session .. hehee.. then for the first time in 2 semesters, I was loafing around. Read: loafing. I felt sooo good & realised how much I need to catch up w myself jst being a student.. u know, doing nothing & jst hanging arnd. Unlike last sem when I need to hurry off after evry class either to call sponsors or attending boring meetings. Chatted w my dear button today, didn't do anythin special, jst plain chatting while forcing her to massage my leg... still I felt tht it was fun enough..! All nothing but friends that make me smile~~~

And then, the best thing was when I saw Amanda's blog. It's one thing to know tht someone treasures a friendship & another when they spells it out so clearly. I love you guys lots dearie.. really can't wait to catch up again!! :) :)

Talked to mama yday night, she was telling me how she's adapting to her life alone at home.. feeling a bit sad ler to see her like tht.. makes me feel like I wanna fly back home right away!! But as always, talking to mama is always the highlight of the week. I feel like a baby out of a sudden. Anw, she was describing her experience to me abt her karoake stunt last sat when she finally belted her famous song in front of 30ppl on stage... hahahaha..

A helicopter view.

I sat on a helicopter last Sat!!!!!!! :) :) :) *jumping** ~~~~

heheee.. as you all could imagine, I was soOOOooo excited the moment before I board the helicopter. I've always wanted to sit on one and now finally, my dream came true! It was only 10mins but it was enough.. I never thought I would sit on a helicopter in this trip, which makes it even more exciting. Mst definitely say thanks to Abdullah for accompanying me although he was smart enough to sit at the front without even offering me first.... Anw, the view was jst amazing.. it's a totally diff feeling to see the 12apostles from the boardwalk & to view it from the helicopter. The first few seconds when it was abt to take off, I felt tt sense of nervousness.. u know, those butterflies in yr stomach, moments before u're abt to sit a roller coaster. Exactly! Of course, I would know it wouldn't be tht scary but hey, it was my first time & it was sooo windy, I thought the wind would blew us off any second. Unlike aeroplanes, helicopters are so fragile.. I can feel it's every move but the best part was when the helicopter made a turn. Feel like I'm those air force fighters, preparing for a battle.. hahahaha..

Anw, my first trip leading of the semester didn't went as bad as I thought it would be... chat w a couple of e participants & Abdullah's really funny. On our way back, he entertained me with his jokes... telling me how he was chased by kidnappers and how he would yell & stuck his tongue out to the headmaster .. & of course, I also told him how I always was a tomboy when I was young, playing guns & cars with my bros & asking my mum why my pants have such a big hole when in actual fact, it's a skirt. I even told him how I used to cane my rabbits whenever they're naughty, only to realise how evil I was when I'm young.. (Yeah, I really did tht!)

Then went to Franco's hse for dinner.. maybe I'm hungry but tht night, the porridge was damn nice.. jst the right texture. Ok-lerrr, I will learn how to cook ler bastard.. but u mst be a bit more patient to teach me.

Went to docklands for lunch after church w bro & drey yday.. Both of them were like detectives, demanding for detailed description of what happen during Jeremy's visit .. hahahahahaha..

Mondays become much more interesting nowadays coz I've only got 1 class. Was feeling a bit nervous abt the speech next Thurs but bumped into my dear button at the lab.. funny coz she didn't had to say anything & automatically, I felt alright. Jst enjoying the sight of her right beside me admiring her new green adidas shoe while planning my next attack.

Me & computer labs

Funny how computer labs are always the places where I revealed stuff abt my family. You know those times that used to have with you, Zijill?!.. when I talk about my childhood and the whole computer lab knows abt my family history.. Yeah, those times. Bumped into Marion today.. she's one of the loveliest seniors I've met in RMIT.. we start chatting abt our childhood for no reason & boy, I have to say it really kept me thinking abt it..! Never knew that we came from the same background... & it sure is different when you talk abt it with the people from the similar situation.. somehow we can relate better to each other.. Thanks, girl. :) You truly are amazing.. Jst like I said jst now, u're the western Jen & Jen is the eastern you.. hahaha.. (Yes Jen, I told her tht! ;P)

Had a trip briefing jst now.. oh, I got my trip leading allocations for this sem already.. gonna lead the trip to Great Ocean Road tmr (Oh NO!!! Not again..!), Mount Buller next Sat and Sovereign Hill in Sept.. can't wait coz I've never been to Mt Buller & Sovereign Hill before... everytime after the briefing, I always felt this overwhelming sense of responsibility, constantly reminding me tht trip leading is jst not for fun, it's real responsibility & real work!

Catch up w Jen for lunch jst now.. as usual, we were laughing & choking from our mee.. talking abt gazillion things like her internship experience in Taiwan, our course subjects, sex, Jen's extreme racism, our finance etc etc.. Thanks to her, I made up my mind tht I'm gonna continue with the mind-blowing-philosophy course - Media Ethics. Come to think of it, true enough I should challenge myself to learn something fr a v diff perspective..

Anw, my dear Krystal is back!!! YAYYYY!!!~~ *muackssss* Still rembr the split second when I saw u yday.. can't help but to pounce on u... hahahhahaa.. we went to lunch yday & catch up for dinner w the rest & do what we always used to do - watching Amazing Race! hahaha.. good to have u back, button... coz I miss u damn super much.. it seems to me like u never left melbourne.. we still got many more things to update each other yea?!.. I dun wanna know the summary, I want details!!! *devilish smile* ;) heheheheee... thanks for the gifts button.. Oh oh, I am now the very proud owner of a $10 shoes that look alike Converse all-star but it's actually some cheapo brand from Sungei Wang.

~~Back to school~~

I can't believe this but for the first time, I actually felt happy to be back to uni.. it's probably because it's my final sem as well so it kinda made me feel like this is my last chance of being a student... hehee.. anw, saw Jen & Jun today after 4 freaking long weeks.. man, it's really great to see them again, it's as though they never left Aus! Jen's currently stress up with her SYN FM event - "The SYN Celeb-Asian" party due to be held on the day I leave for my ski trip.. she asked me to help her out in sponsorship.. Oh well, in the name of friendship and for the sake of my little gold fish, alright!! :)

Bumped into my SLP mentor yday & she was promoting this free Event Management seminar for students.. while standing there thinking whether I should sign up for it, she asked me if I would like to speak at the seminar. What the...?!.. I was so shock, immediately I said: "Are you serious?".. And she said: "Yes!" She asked me to think about it & let her know asap. I really appreciate her man... so understanding! Thought abt it for the whole night & spoke to mum about it.. she totally encouraged me to go. In fact, I think she's forcing me to. hmmm.. I reckon I should not let my fear of public speaking conquering me yes?!.. Jst sent an email to my SLP mentor.. Man, I dunno what I'm getting myself into.. *cross fingers**..

First week of classes & it's been good so far.. some of my courses are so mentally stimulating tt I really enjoyd the discussion. Hope that it'll stay this way in 13 weeks. Got my results for last sem.. managed to maintain my results except for Integrated Media, which I think I'll be getting a credit.. :(

Psssst.. Jeremy dropped by my hse yday night for Krispy Kreme.

Getting a bit worried for mama.. Kenny left for Ipoh on Monday to begin his studies in aviation.. so proud of my younger bro man.. he msgd mum saying that he flew today for the first time.. How cool is that!! And I laughed my ass off when mum told me yday that she'll be "performing" this sat on stage, singing karaoke. wahahaha.. my mum rocks man!! :D She even said if she were 20yrs younger, she reckon she could become a singer.

Currently excited about: Krystal's homecoming.. :) :)
Currently listening to: Jen's complains abt me blogging.

What an amazing week~~!!

I havent been blogging for ages, I dunno where to start. Went to the Hillsong conference for the past 5 days & boy, as much as it was inspiring, it was so draining as well. At the last day of the conference, I couldn't help but admit how glad I was that it was the last day.. u know, information overload. The queues were so long, it jst aint funny. It's like queuing to a concert & everyday we hv to queue twice. But what really amazed me was to see 28,000 christians gathering together at the Super Dome regardless of the colour of yr skin. The sound effects & performances were so amazing, it distracted me!! I learned things that I never knew, the speakers were so open to talk abt evrything - r/ships, sexuality etc. But now, with all the information at hand, I begin to wonder. There are so many unanswered questions in my mind & I guess in order for me to move forward in this journey, I have to clear my mind first. Gonna meet Aunt May for Q & A session next sun. There are so many things that I want to share, 1 blog entry is not enough.

I had my first Krispy Kreme last Fri..!!! :D.. when we reached there, it was close but they had the 24hrs drive thru. like those mcD's drive thru.. the queue was so long & I insisted that we should queue although we don't really have a car.. so imagine 2 crazy girls, laughing & laughing & queuing in between cars. I couldn't help to peep at the drivers & saw a funny smirk at their face. When it was our turn to order, the machine didn't give me any response. So I started making silly actions like stucking my tongue at the machine, pretending I was driving jst in case the machine can only detect big vehicles & poking at the machine back & forth.. u know, those sort of things that I would normally do when I'm sleepy, hungry & going nuts. Then after a 5mins "drama action", this hot guy at the counter came running towards us, half giggling, told us tht we can actually order at the counter & that the machine is for cars only. I felt funny when I reachd at the counter & his colleagues start peeping at us & giggle.. As I was abt to pay, I noticed this tiny little screen at the cashier & it was a circuit tv!!!! meaning, all my actions were watched & documented... I wanted to hide my face but I figured tt Krispy Kreme is more important. I think the hot guy wanted to thank us for making them laugh, they only charged us $2 when it was meant to be $8. :)

The other day, I went to eat this super nice pie - Harry's pies at this place w a very funny name - Woolloomooloo. hahahaha.. I couldn't help laughing when I first heard it. It sounds so.............. ulu.

Oh oh & how can I ever forget this - I climbed the Sydney Harbour Bridge!!!!!!! :) :) Man, it was so worth it. SO worth it. At first, it was pretty scary coz the platform that I was standing is see-through. It was so high up & beneath us is nothing but sea water. But I tell u, the view fr the summit is jst simply breathtaking. The view of the city & the Sydney Opera House is jst..... haih~~ cannot be described by words. We weren't allow to take anything while climbing so our guide actually took some pics for us. Can't wait to upload it!! Everytime I see gigantic arhitectures such as these, I always feel so amazed & small. Went & admired the harbour bridge & the opera hse again yday night. Stupid digi cam, now confirm spoil already.. so in the end, I didn't take any pics so Val & I sat down by the harbour chatting & eating Copenhagen ice-cream in 14degrees.

We went to eat our hearts out at the Sydney Fish Market yday. Another one of my fav place in Sydney.. the salmon & eel is so fresh & of course, I ate so much AGAIN.. u should've seen the look at Val's face when I continued stuffing food in my mouth while she had stopped 15mins ago. Then I went & shit so tt my stomach can fit in my next target - Passion Flower ice-cream. Yum yum~~ ;P Then of course, it was shopping for us.. went to Oxford St & Paddington to shop. I bought another 2 jackets. :) :) Both black & I love it soo much.. val bought one too. I think both of us have a fetish for jackets now.. hahahaha.. Up till now, all my to do list in Sydney is done except for Bondi beach. & I'm going today!!! Hooray~~!! Can't wait.

I think this 10days w Val had in a way, brought my friendship w her to a diff level. U know like sisters - we fought, argued, irritated & annoyed each other w our stubborness & sarcasm & immediately the next min, we're jst fine.. & oh my god, i'v never seen someone so clean before. Even cleaner then my bro.

Currently feeling: hungry & excited to go back to Melbourne tonight.

Repetition kills excitement!

You know what? Once you've been to a place, it really doesn't seem as much fun & excited as the second time. That's how I felt when I arrived in Sydney.. it wasn't as cold as Melbourne for sure. First day, we went to Hyde Park.. it's a park I saw last yr when I went to Syd but didn't had the time to go. Saw the ANZAC memorial & it was a really nice park. Then, head off to Chinatown & Darling Harbour.. and of course, knowing me, I ate ice-cream!!!! :) This really nice black sesame ice-cream in Passion Flavour is only available in Sydney.. sooo yummy but darn expensive!! Anw, we took some pics with my ehem!.. new digital camera. But damn Canon, I think it's spoilt. Evry 0nce in a while, it says memory card error. Error, your head! It really affected my mood, I mst say. Damn potong stim u know, take pics half way then like tht. But luckily, it was a 512mb memory card so at least can store more pics.. Jst uploaded some pics at Flickr..

Anw, Val's couz's so nice but I feel that we're bothering them so quite shy ler.. At night, they brought us clubbing at this apparently the biggest club in Sydney, called Home. I almost didn't get to go in coz stupid bouncer didn't accept my international student card.. actually, it's my fault lar, didn't know it's expired & forgot to bring my driving license. Anw, it was trance music tht night, my first time dancing to trance. Whoa! The cousins can shuffle v well - first time seeing someone shuffling this well. So cool plus they'r twins!! Anw, I didn't really had a great time at the club, maybe because I'm darn exhausted & because it's trance music.. can't get used to the beat. Still prefer hip-hop & RnB. I was half dead when I reached home & slept like a pigg.. as always.

Woke up today & the cousins brought us to La Perouse.. this little nice beach.. had fish & chips.. the shops' system is so cute u know, everytime u order yr food, they gave u this v cute walkie-talkie so tht they can inform to pick it up at the counter once the food is ready.. ;) I've never seen such a thing.. then, Val & I tried to be miss independent & went to the city by ourselves to shop.. bought a white crop jacket! :) love it so much but love Val's jacket even more.. had dinner at this Jap restaurant, Kura.. one of my favourites. The restaurant was so smelly, we ta pau & ate it at Darling Harbour.. coincidentally, they were having an outdoor concert & we were jst in time for the fireworks.. reminds me of Wai Lun ler.

Currently looking forward to: Fish market tmr!